The ache and the pain will tear a hole in my chest.
How can I escape the emptiness within myself?
Morning breaks through, yet it’s all the same.
Nothing changes; only darkness remains.
Seeing nothing but gray all around,
Looking for some way to get out.
Weighed down by heaviness and loss,
Wandering, totally and completely lost.
People all around, oblivious to my silent screams.
If I voiced my despair, would anyone even hear?
Storms raging inside my soul, threatening my very life,
Yet I keep to myself, and continue to fight this fight.
I look in the mirror and don’t even know who I see.
I want to live the life of someone who is free.
I want to go back to some other place in time,
Find a better version of myself; just hit rewind.
I wonder if I could figure out exactly when
This broken version of myself began.
Could I change who I’ve come to be?
Or would I still be left with what I see?
How much of what I am currently
Is because of decisions made by me?
And how much of what I face is due
To the experiences life has put me through?
All these questions and no answers to be found,
Colliding thoughts and storms, and I might drown.