Saturday, April 22, 2017

Throwing off Our Blankets

I got so frustrated with Baby Girl the other day. Why? She was going into meltdown mode because she wanted food. Here's the kicker: the food was right in front of her. She couldn't see it, though, because she refused to get out from under her blanket. This happens often. She'll get upset because she wants a toy. I'll put it right there beside her. I'll tell her it's there. I'll even place it in her hands. She'll just throw it down in frustration because she still cannot SEE that what she really needs is right there. She only has to LET GO of that blanket! I began to realize something in all of this. How many times am I holding onto things that I need to put down in order to pick up what God wants to give me? And I'm not even talking about sin. I'm talking about things I hold on to for my security: perfectionism, my comfort zone, and even my depression. Let me explain, especially what I mean about my depression being something I hold on to for security. But I'll start with perfectionism; I struggled with it up until a couple of months ago. I thought I had to be good enough to be accepted and loved by God and people. I worked so hard at it. I placed my security in making myself, my family, and my house perfect. Then it all fell apart this past January. I wouldn't remove that blanket myself, so life came in and snatched it right out of my hands. This forced me out of my comfort zone. I had to confront my perfectionism head on. That's when I realized that only one perfect person ever walked the face of this earth: Jesus Christ. That's when I truly accepted Him and allowed Him to fully have every part of me. I finally felt free. Now I finally have true peace. I finally have a real relationship with Jesus. If I hadn't gotten rid of that comfortable blanket of perfectionism, I would have missed all of this. I would still be stuck under that weight and suffering under the delusion that what I had was better than what God offered. Being forced out of my comfort zone was the best thing that could have happened to me. This is not to say that I don't have any struggles now. I still battle depression, and I am not saying that it is something I am able to throw off like I was able to throw off perfectionism. It doesn't work that way. (Boy, I wish it did!) What I will say, though, is that I can choose how I react to my depression. I can use it as an excuse to hide or tell God no, or I can continue to live my life to the fullest and say yes to God in spite of my depression. There are days in which all I want to do is to stay under my blanket, but I choose to put it down. God has better things for me. I know. I've seen some of those things. And I don't want to miss anything that He has in store for me in the future.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."  Hebrews 12:1

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