Monday, June 18, 2018

Garden of Beauty

"Garden of Beauty"

Dancing to my own rhythm, I'm happy in my own skin
I have fought a battle and I have won, I love who I am

The scars, the pain, the darkness I've walked through
Have all changed me into someone beautiful and new

Those who don't understand are of no concern to me
They judge and they hate, yet my love they fail to see

I will speak peace and joy and comfort wherever I go
Those who truly know me will most definitely know

That my heart and my hands are free to serve and give
Spreading peace and truth is one reason I choose to live

I use my voice, I use my heart, and I use my two hands
To sing of freedom and of beauty, to share where I can

Growing and flourishing in this garden I've made my own
I welcome others to come in and make themselves at home

They can plant their own seeds and here they can be free
To flourish, to nourish, to beautifully be who they want to be

Tuesday, May 15, 2018



An endless war, yet one that holds an eternal grip on me
I take up my weapons and fight, I see this as my victory

Like a prisoner, doomed to one solitary and melancholy fate
I accept my dismal lot in life, death will be my only escape

I’m not bitter or resentful, perhaps maybe cynical and self-reliant
Trusting no one but myself, as truth lies only where I find it

Shielding myself from arrows, protecting myself from flames
The life I live within myself keeps me protected from the pain

Shadows try to haunt me, Darkness threatens from the deep
I wear a coat of armor, nothing comes close to touching me

Light tries to break through, kind words are spoken to pierce my heart
I push them back with vengeance, maintaining isolation is a work of art

I am an impenetrable fortress, a heart that cannot be reached
My walls are high and they are strong, I am impossible to defeat.

Friday, January 26, 2018



Don’t be stifled, set yourself free,
You’re not who the world tells you to be.
Break the mold, loosen the chains,
Let the real you be all that remains.

With every step, fear will fall away,
You’re a force to be reckoned with today.
Out of the shell you have now emerged,
Unleashing your fire onto the world.

Melting anyone who stands in your way,
You make it clear that you’re here to stay.
You walk in the path you’ve blazed for yourself,
With no concerns for the opinions of anyone else.

Your inner beauty radiates outwardly too,
That’s why they can’t take their eyes off you.
Hold your head up high and brilliantly shine,
You, brave soul, are absolutely divine.

Dedicated to my friend, Maddie

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Be You, Be Beautiful

"But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful
Like a rainbow"
                                                      -Cyndi Lauper

"You've changed." 
Oh, my, how I've heard these words recently! This statement has ranged in meaning from my views to my depression and almost everything in between the two. It's been spoken like it's an accusation. It's been said with irritation. These words have even been spoken as a reason that I'm harder to love or as something that makes it too difficult to keep me as a friend. 

But, you know what? This is who I am. I have depression. I will not apologize for that. It's part of me. My views? Yes, they've evolved. I've become more informed. I don't want to stay the same, anyway. I find that quite undesirable. I do not want to be stagnant. I choose to be a lifelong learner. Plus, in many ways I'm still the same:
kind, loving, compassionate, giving, bookish, feisty, wine-drinking, Netflix-watching, writer. If people would spend some time with me, they would see this; however, it's not my problem if they choose not to do so. I'm content with the people who are currently in my life and with the friends that I believe I will make in the future.

The older I get, the more comfortable I am with me. I love who I am. I want to surround myself with people who also love me for me. I won't simply be "tolerated." I expect to be loved, appreciated, and celebrated. It's taken me a long time to arrive at this place, and I won't allow anyone to take it away from me. It's an especially hard-won battle for someone with depression, but I've earned this victory and have the scars to prove it.

I feel beautiful in my own skin. I will continue to be true to who I am. For the ones who truly love me, I love you, too, and you all are wonderful examples of being real. To everyone, never be afraid to show your true colors. Your real life - and your real friends - are out there waiting!

Thursday, January 18, 2018



I feel them closing in,
The clouds of Night descend again.
Covering me in Darkness deep and vast,
Surrounding me with Sadness I feel will never pass.

You scream at me from far away,
I struggle to make sense of what you say.
I am lost and I am alone in this Place,
My emotions and my very existence - erased.

I close my eyes, 
a feeble attempt to block out the Pain.
I open them only to see that Nothingness,
In all of its coldness and cruelty, still remains.

Why must I come here,
And why can’t I truly leave?
What is this hold the Abyss has over me?
I can walk away for a time, but will I ever be free? 

Wednesday, January 17, 2018


I've noticed that there is a disturbing lack of compassion in the world today. One look at Facebook and it's obvious. So many people are not willing to put themselves in others' places and imagine what it might feel like to be in a different place in life. I cannot understand this. In this day and time, there is no excuse for ignorance. Through the internet and global news, it is quite simple for us to be aware of the plight and struggles of others. It's not for lack of information that people are ignorant; it is by choice.

Furthermore, I cannot fathom the hate that spews out of the mouths of some people. Aren't we to love? Aren't we to reach out to other humans, regardless of race, religious beliefs, or sexual orientation? So many problems could be solved if people were willing to truly love one another - unconditionally and without judgment. Trust me, it's possible - even rewarding - to love someone who is different from you.

All I know to do is to spread love and compassion everywhere I go. That is what I try to do. I cannot change the whole world in one broad sweep, but I can change my own outlook and give of myself in the best way I know how. That is my goal for this year and for the rest of my life. My prayer is that one day soon the rest of the world will join me.

Sunday, November 12, 2017



With your words, you tried to kill me, and I lay hurt and wounded for some time.
I had to fight and claw my way back, until strength once again became mine.

You hid in cover behind another; you refused to confront me face to face.
Yet I'm supposed to keep quiet and be sure to stay in my 'proper place.'

The battle lines have been drawn, and you're the one holding the pen.
I will take the high road, yet that doesn't mean that you win.

Everything said in the dark will eventually come to light.
Your words will turn on you; you will lose this fight.

I know who I am, and I do not care what you think.
I am rising now, and I will watch you sink.

Garden of Beauty

"Garden of Beauty" Dancing to my own rhythm, I'm happy in my own skin I have fought a battle and I have won, I love w...