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Throwing off Our Blankets

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I got so frustrated with Baby Girl the other day. Why? She was going into meltdown mode because she wanted food. Here's the kicker: the food was right in front of her. She couldn't see it, though, because she refused to get out from under her blanket. This happens often. She'll get upset because she wants a toy. I'll put it right there beside her. I'll tell her it's there. I'll even place it in her hands. She'll just throw it down in frustration because she still cannot SEE that what she really needs is right there. She only has to LET GO of that blanket! I began to realize something in all of this. How many times am I holding onto things that I need to put down in order to pick up what God wants to give me? And I'm not even talking about sin. I'm talking about things I hold on to for my security: perfectionism, my comfort zone, and even my depression. Let me explain, especially what I mean about my depression being something I hold on to for s…

Birthday Week

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I'm excited to announce that my birthday is this week, and I'll be turning 42! Yes, you read that correctly; I am thrilled about being in my 40's. It's been my best decade yet-so far, anyway. I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. I have figured out what's truly important in life. I no longer take things for granted. Plus, birthdays are fun! I don't have to cook or clean on mine. I get gifts. I get to be reminded of how much I am loved by family and friends. I get to be thankful for another year that the Lord has given me. And my sweet sister took me out this past weekend to celebrate with lunch and a movie. (We saw Beauty and the Beast, which, by the way, is fabulous.) We also made a stop by Ulta, which is where I scored this lovely beauty haul you see featured in the pic above. Literally, I treated myself from head to toe! I got three headbands, a cucumber eye kit, exfoliating body scrub, creamy body wash, luxurious body wash, body lotion, and nail poli…

When The Dark Days Come Again

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This picture is from my Instagram post a couple of days ago. The darkness is trying to pull me back in. I don't know why this time. Sometimes I can trace it back to an event or an issue in my life: loss, lack of sleep, forgetting my meds, a sudden change. But none of those things have happened. And that just makes it worse. I want to figure this out. I want a reason for my depression. I want to blame this on something. Here's the thing, though: depression just is. You can't always attach it to something. Certain events can exacerbate it. A tragedy can precipitate it. There are individuals who can make it worse. But these things don't cause it. So here I sit again, feeling helpless and numb at the same time, moving through each day in robotic motions on an endless cycle of repeat. These are the days in which it takes every bit of my strength just to get out of bed, the days in which I try to avoid the grocery store (but if I do have to go, I'm silently praying the …

Self-Care: Important and Fun

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Remind Me

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"He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along." Psalm 40:2 (New Living Translation)


Sometimes we need tangible reminders. We want a memento or a souvenir to help us remember a special event or a cherished person: photographs, ticket stubs, dried flowers. We hold on to these objects. We look at these treasures and remember where we've been. We think of how we've been changed because of the people connected to them. On hard days, particularly if that cherished person has passed on into eternity, we cling to our treasured objects with every fiber of our being, gripping them tightly as the tears flow down our faces. Then, through the pain, the significance of that object brings a smile to our face. We remember the funny movie we watched together, or we laugh at the funny faces we made in the picture. The joy mingles with the pain, and we find the strength to make room for both.
That&#…

School: Week of March 20, 2017

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"Courage"

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After years of fear and procrastination, I am finally pursuing my writing career full time. I've had three articles published within the last seven years, but I've only worked on my writing part time until this month.  I'm now investing more time and energy into my passion. I've applied for several freelance writing jobs, and I am also in the preliminary stages of writing my first novel. Meanwhile, I wrote this poem earlier today. It speaks of the difficulty that I have in simply getting out of bed most days due to depression, and it also speaks about overcoming my anxiety by being brave enough to bare my soul to the world. Finally, this poem reminds me (and others) that it's worth the fight to get up and to keep going; it's worth the risk to follow your dreams. So, be courageous. Do what you're meant to do.



“Courage”
Morning arrives again It’s time to awake Getting out of the bed Is so hard to take
To face another day Such a daunting task Put on my best brave face …