Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Coming Out of the Dark

"In the depths of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."
-Albert Camus

Yesterday marked the first day of spring for those of us in the northern hemisphere. It's a season of rebirth. It's a season that reminds us that there's life after death. We begin to see the light after a long darkness. We begin to feel the comfort of warmth where we once felt the bitterness of the cold. Flowers burst forth in color and trees display the brilliant green of new growth. Spring is the promise of summer to come: long days, relaxed schedules, trips to the beach, picnics, ice cream. It's a season of hope.

But what if winter didn't end? What if the darkness didn't go away? What if the bone-chilling numbness became your constant companion? What if the world lost its color? Would you keep searching for the light? Would you look for new growth? For how long? Would you continue even when it became a frantic search that ended in deeper darkness? How long would it take you to give up all hope? The darkness and cold are powerful. They can envelop you completely.

That is where I've been. That is why I've been absent from blogging for a year. Depression took over and nearly killed me. My winter was long. It was cold. It was dark. It was horrific. I thought it would never end. I hit the bottom of the pit. My husband found me there. He helped me find the strength to begin to get out. I got help. I'm better now. I'm thankful for my supportive family and friends. I'm grateful for my doctors and therapists and for the medications that they have prescribed for me. I'm eternally thankful to the Lord for his sustaining mercy and grace that carry me through every day. My depression has not gone away, but I've got the tools to manage it now. I am coming into my spring, and I am looking forward to my summer.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

1 comment:

Jean L said...

I am so glad to read your beautiful words again!

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