Fun Self-Care, Self-Love, and What the Hell is Going On?!?

Gandalf, My Hero

I'm still here. I know it's been a while since I posted. We've had a busy season of life lately. My older daughter graduated from high school. It's hard for me to grasp that fact. She's been homeschooled throughout her entire educational career, so while I'm excited for her, there is also a part of me that grieves a little for the loss of that era. It is certainly an adjustment. In addition to this, my younger daughter moved up from fifth grade and is now in middle school. My son will be a junior, so we have only two years left to do school together. Lots of letting go around here! To add to this bit of emotional unrest, I am also in the throes of perimenopause, which let me just bluntly say is hell. Plus, finally, as most of my readers know, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder two years ago. I'll tell you right here and right now that this past May was likely one of the most stressful months I've ever had in my life. I was glad to switch my calendar to June today. I'm saying it now. I'm speaking it into existence. I'm willing it. June will be a GOOD month. There may  will be stressors. I will lose my crap sometimes. My husband and my kids will lose their crap sometimes. My house will be messy. My laundry will be clean, but it might be stacked somewhere outside closets and drawers. I do NOT care. I'm just trying to survive. It's summer in the south and it is HOT. And HUMID. My sweet daughter with special needs is home all day for the entire summer. I love her, but it is quite challenging to care for her due to the nature of her needs. Then, there's the perimenopause beast. When I go three months without a period and then, suddenly, BOOM!!! Guess who? And it's like a murder scene in the bathroom. What the hell?!? I wasn't prepared for this. And the cramps, oh, they are back - back with a vengeance! It's like I'm giving birth to that alien in the infamous Alien scene. Then there's the crying. Then I'm laughing. Then I'm furious. Then I'm crying again. All of this is affecting my depression, which is to be expected. I am working hard to practice my healthy coping skills, but sometimes I fall into unhealthy coping mechanisms. When I'm overwhelmed, it's just so easy to do things that feel good at the moment but aren't healthy in the long run; I admit to doing this a few times over the past month. I've been making a conscious effort to practice healthy self-care and self-love lately. In spite of that, I am still struggling with stress. Yes, I'm still seeing my psychiatrist. Yes, I'm still taking my antidepressants. But, I still parent a child with significant special needs. And I have a husband who works a lot of the time. Oh, and I have lavender essential oil and CBD oil and even rose quartz. I even have lavender soap and lavender fabric softener and lavender dryer sheets and I burn lavender incense. My entire house is made out of lavender. My daughter has medication for her anxiety. She sees a neurologist every few months. So, trust me, we're all medicated as prescribed and oiled and mineraled and scented here, too. We get plenty of time outdoors as well as lots of exercise. My stress level is still high. No amount of any of these things will make it go away. They just help me to manage it better. Here are some of the things I do for fun. In my next post, I'm going to talk about what's known as "boring" self-care.

Being creative helps me by taking my mind off the stress for a while. I made this suncatcher. I also like to color, sketch, paint, and write.

Sometimes I spend a day alone. It is fabulous. I eat lunch at my favorite restaurant, go shopping, go to the bookstore, take a walk in nature, or do whatever I feel like. It's MY day! This is my ultimate act of self-love.

I take an (almost) daily morning walk. I am surrounded by lovely trees, flowers, birds, squirrels, and so many other beautiful sights. I get exercise while soaking in some sunshine, too. This is a great way to practice self-care. 

I go on date nights with this sexy guy! We laugh, we eat, we shop, we go to Walmart (inside joke.) Then we...well, none of your business!

I light candles, burn incense, meditate, go barefoot in the grass. 

I love being outside at night. We light the citronella candle and sit near the citronella plant to (hopefully) keep the mosquitoes away. Some nights I drink a mug of chamomile tea. 

And here I am with my rescue baby: Gandalf. I'm not sure who actually rescued whom. Look at his sweet face. He is my heart. He jumps up and "hugs" me. When we sit in the chair together, he has to wrap his legs around mine.